TRAIN WRECK

Hello Liouxie

2008-03-04T07:49:00.002-05:00

Welcome back Liouxie, if any readers don't know, Lioux from Damn You Dan is back.
http://born2beriled.blogspot.com/
Can't tell you how happy I am to be back on the blogosphere.
Satchmo's happy too!

Death of a Company

2007-09-10T22:17:00.000-04:00

Well I don't know if this is
Company Inc.'s last day or just Lioux's
last day but here's to the demise
of a nice little sceenprinting
company in Central NJ that was
run into oblivion by 2 stupid
and thoughtless individuals who
cared about little else but their
own pathetic little fiefdom.
Kudos to my friend and partner
in crime, Lioux, for sticking it out this long
with these imbeciles. I hope he
shall be visiting me soon and relatively
often down here in the Peachtree state.
All my best to him and whatever
he ventures into. I know he'll be
successful and continue to make
friends and great music.
We actually had an outstanding
working relationship and I miss him
in too many ways to enumerate here.
If any of you bloggers ever had any
idea that the two of us ever had an
uneasy or even adversarial relationship,
let me assure you we did not.
It was fun pretending we were at each
other's throats at times, but the truth
was much more boring. We got along
famously and I can't think of anyone
I would have rather spent more time
with outside of my family.
Love you buddy. You're the best.
YA BIG JERK!

Images From the DEEP SOUTH

2007-08-27T21:48:00.001-04:00

Thought all you Yankees would enjoy
some images of the South that I've
been subjected to so far. The first
is Stone Mountain, the Mount Rushmore
of the confederacy.
Who can tell me who is depicted on
this mighty rock?

The second is the UGA Bulldog
which is everywhere in Athens.

And the third is this famous cavalry
commander who also helped form
the KKK.
All correct answers will be awarded
a peach, a bag of peanuts and some
Mexican Food, which is also quite
prevalent in Athens.

Greetings From The DEEP SOUTH

2007-08-24T23:44:00.001-04:00

NO, DON'T WORRY THIS
ISN'T ME. This was an actual
concern of mine when I moved
down here but there are no
roving gangs of Klansmen
with burning crosses in this
part of Georgia. Really nice
place and UGA has a BEE-
YOUtiful campus. Y'all come
on down real soon.

Georgia Peach

2007-06-14T13:12:00.000-04:00

Well, for just about everyone
out there, this is Ty Cobb, biggest
prick to ever wear a baseball
uniform (including Barry Bonds)
and just about the most famous
person from Georgia ever. Well y'all
I'm moving down there and hoping
to strike it rich and enjoy cruising
the hundreds of miles of roads
that lead to God knows where.
I think I'll continue this stupid
thing just for keeping in touch
purposes. Best of luck to Lioux
and his new blog, I'm riouxting
for "Lioux Velvet", kudos to cokane
on that one. I also like "Waiting
for the Lioux" which has a double
meaning for the Brits among us.
"Damn You Dixie"? Nah.
Hope everyone else keeps up
their own blogs.
See y'all in the blogosphere.
TW out.

What's Holding This Guy's Head Up?

2007-03-07T16:03:00.000-05:00

This guy used to be of no concern
to me until I realized that he
must have suffered a minor
stroke and he is still spouting his
ridiculous beliefs for all the
braindead minions to suck up.
Time for the promised land
to come calling.

Mary Kate & Ghastly

2007-02-20T15:26:00.000-05:00

Just noticed I've been picking on the girls a
lot lately. Well it's really just a coincidence.
I'll pile on the boys soon. Does anyone
remember those waif paintings from the
60s? Margaret Keane was the *ahem* artist.
Life imitating art?

Making Michael Look Good

2007-02-15T17:15:00.000-05:00

Celebrity status for Miss Jackson, check please.
Always a kook but kinda sexy, OMG break out the
weird wagon and take her away.

Houston, I Have A Problem

2007-02-06T13:57:00.000-05:00

How does an astronaut go from right to left?
Maybe space flight makes people crazier
than we thought.

The Way We Urrrrrrr...

2007-02-06T09:38:00.000-05:00

Boy, that Jim Brolin is brave, or did he
finally have enough of this? From everything
I have heard or read she's a nightmare.
Yet people still spend thousands to hear her
in concert. Go figure.

Sore LOSER

2007-01-25T10:10:00.000-05:00

No class, no grace, no charisma, no personality.
Why don't I like this guy? Since his mumbling
nonsensical departure from the Jets I've despised
this guy. He may be a great coach but he's a
miserable human being.

Satan's Wedding Party

2007-01-18T15:08:00.000-05:00

Anyone who knows who the guy on the far left is,
please let me know. This was going to be about
Judy Garland's daughter but I came across this
photo and had to post it. I wonder who had the
courage to catch the bouquet?

Who you callin' a Train Wreck?

2007-01-17T10:24:00.000-05:00

This time it was the NFL who called her a train wreck. Maybe if she wore
some underwear she wouldn't drink so much. Or vice versa.

2007-01-17T10:10:00.000-05:00

Still cute as hell but HOLY CRAP!

Thanks to Lioux for turning me on to this.I actually still really like her but she needs a 12 step program like yesterday.
Hope she gets some help because she's still really easy on the eyes.

Make them go away

2007-01-16T12:13:00.000-05:00

Just because I'm from Jersey doesn't mean I automatically
have to like these idiots OR Springsteen. When did they
become big anyway? I must have been passed out at
some dive in Sayerville.

Conspiracy on MLK Blvd

2007-01-16T12:10:00.000-05:00

Somewhere along the way I seem to have been tagged as a joke in my college's student database. "Hey, let's fuck with this kid'd account so nothing ever goes as planned!" someone must have said.

Financial Aid: Yes your loan was processed and approved, the funds have been given to the bursar.
Bursar: We don't have the money.
Me: Where the hell is the $6600 that I'm currently paying back to NJClass Loans then?
Financial Aid: At the Bursar's office.
Bursar: It's at Financial Aid.

Me: Can I register for the spring then?
Registrar: Not until the Bursar removes your billing hold.
Bursar: Not until Financial Aid gives us our money.
Financial Aid: It's all taken care of, I don't know why they won't remove the hold. Talk to them.

There was less red tape in DC, and that's saying something. This place seriously must be conspiring against me. All I want, all I need, is my last few classes, so I can take my damn diploma, which probably is written in crayon by a retarded monkey in a top hat, and get a job that allows me the bliss of sitting in a cubicle and giving 25% of my money to the government in taxes, and the remaining 75% of my income can go to paying off my loans like god intended, leaving me nothing.

I don't like this school, I don't particularly think my major was all that interesting, and I don't think anything I learned in a class is applicable in the actual workplace. Basic HTML classes don't mean anything when it comes time to set up a business network. CSS is nice, but your time is better spent on other components of a commercial site, like making it function, and making it secure. Doing script kiddy shit in Access is a waste when if you're doing anything sizable, you need Oracle anyway. I hate this more than I can describe, and it's just making me angry.

Mage out.

Guilty Pleasure

2007-01-15T12:33:00.000-05:00

A few months ago I came across this awesome site. Since finding it, I've become a huge fan and look forward to enjoying my Monday morning coffee while reading others *secrets*. Sometimes they're funny, sometimes sad and sometimes just flat out disturbing.

Not only did I buy this book for a BFF this Christmas, my SIL bought it for me.

And it's awesome.

Harmless but still painful

2007-01-09T08:45:00.000-05:00

I had a friend of mine who hated these 2 so much he would get angry just talking
about them. We used to imagine how these idiots would cover "L.A. Woman"
or "Whole Lotta Love" with their smarmy mugging and gesturing to each other.
Then Pat Boone and Richard Cheese stole our idea.

It's the one with the elephants

2007-01-03T11:27:00.000-05:00

I was nursing a hangover and my girlfriend at the time
insisted on watching this horrifying mess. I still hurt.
Worst movie I ever sat through all the way to the end.

Concert Going in Hell

2007-01-03T11:21:00.000-05:00

If I wind up in the hot place after I slip this mortal coil,
Satan has this triple bill waiting for me.

Pirates of the IcantbelievewhatImseein

2006-12-19T15:55:00.000-05:00

God what a crushing, endless, humorless
boreathon this mess was. Thank God they're
bringing back Geoffrey Rush for #3.

Train Wreck band of the week

2006-12-18T16:15:00.000-05:00

Those of you who didn't come of age in the 70s did not have to
endure this puzzlingly mega successful band. I hated these guys
ever since "Lady" came blaring out of broken car radio speakers.
I guess they're touring in some parts of Hell.

Caddycrap

2006-12-13T13:07:00.000-05:00

File this one under why can't you leave well enough alone.
At least they never made an Animal House 2.

Blue Christmas

2006-12-08T14:52:00.000-05:00

Due to a error on my part I inadvertently
posted a great clip from the original
Blues Brothers movie with Akroyd & Belushi
and about 3,000 wrecked automobiles.
It gave me an idea that train wreck movies
should definitely be posted.
Here's one I couldn't watch for even 1 entire
minute when it made its way onto cable.

Three's Embarrassing

2006-11-30T08:31:00.000-05:00

Okay, are there any 3 unfunnier people in the world than this
tragic trio? I just want to wince every time these idiots get
together. The only comic relief these lamos could provide
would be retirement.

Kewpie Doll Mutation

2006-11-20T14:01:00.000-05:00

Few people in American culture creep me out as much as this conglomeration
of twisted nerve endings. I actually had trouble looking at this image and
posting it. I now realize why I could laugh at him on Stern, I didn't have
to look at him!

Way To Go Dirtbag

2006-11-16T13:28:00.000-05:00

The only JUICE this piece of s*** should have going through him is
about 10,000,000 volts in the electric chair. What's the word for
CHUTZPAH times a billion? Nothing funny about him or his despicable
crimes but I had to comment after hearing about this latest BOOK.
Aren't there any serial killers out there to take out the trash?

The Devil You Say?

2006-11-15T16:29:00.000-05:00

I wanted to put something nice and joyful here, but I was sidetracked by my C-WLioux.
Anyway, all is well here at Train Wreck and Damn You Dan. My friend has not left
our company and so the blogs turn. The Devil a Train Wreck? I guess after he is cast
into the all consuming lake of fire, heh? Well, that's for another eternity.

You are The Devil

Materiality. Material Force. Material temptation; sometimes obsession

The Devil is often a great card for business success; hard work and ambition.

Perhaps the most misunderstood of all the major arcana, the Devil is not really "Satan" at all, but Pan the half-goat nature god and/or Dionysius. These are gods of pleasure and abandon, of wild behavior and unbridled desires. This is a card about ambitions; it is also synonymous with temptation and addiction. On the flip side, however, the card can be a warning to someone who is too restrained, someone who never allows themselves to get passionate or messy or wild - or ambitious. This, too, is a form of enslavement. As a person, the Devil can stand for a man of money or erotic power, aggressive, controlling, or just persuasive. This is not to say a bad man, but certainly a powerful man who is hard to resist. The important thing is to remember that any chain is freely worn. In most cases, you are enslaved only because you allow it.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

Hope Springs Eternal

2006-11-10T16:20:00.000-05:00

My favorite Picasso because I'm hopeful my friend
won't leave. Way more upbeat than this morning.

Bad News

2006-11-10T10:19:00.000-05:00

A man I have worked with for 15 years is leaving our company.
I will miss him like a soul mate. He is going to be a great success
at whatever he ventures into and I wish him nothing but
good luck and God's blessings.

Why so prim & proper Pam?

2006-11-03T16:49:00.000-05:00

Hey Pam! Lighten up. Wear something REVEALING for God sakes.
Show a little boobage. Nice shirt, very tasteful. this must be from the
red carpet shoot at the opening of the new Trailer Park in South jersey.
Good luck with this one, Kid.

This Guy Still Has An Audience?

2006-11-02T10:47:00.000-05:00

Fair's fair. I picked on the left so now it's the right's turn.
This fat headed windbag has been the source of so much
discussion and debate and I'm wondering why?
He's obvoiusly addicted to pain killers, nicotine and
grossly insensitive statements. He's shown himself
to be a bigot and a racist and yet people still accept
this jerk as the voice of conservatism. He's a moron
who never completes a thought and can only
complain about things and never offer any real
solutions. Great guy, maybe the cigars and pain
killers will catch up with him REAL soon.

Nice choice of words John.

2006-11-02T10:34:00.000-05:00

Not that I'm a huge fan of this current administration, but this idiot
made me ALMOST glad I voted for W in the last election.
What an A*HOLE! Yeah I know there are some real morons in
the Pentagon and the Bush administration, but graduating
from West Point & Annapolis & the Air Force Academy is
still quite an academic achievement. I'm also quite sure there are
mostly well educated men and women foot soldiers in our courageous
Armed Forces. This guy's political career is officially over.

The Hair? Don't Change A Thing!

2006-10-24T18:07:00.000-04:00

This wasn't even the scariest photo I came across of this freak.
What he's doing now is anyone's guess. Probably cleaning out lion
cages while the lions are feeding. This guy was one of the best
defensive basketball players i ever saw and then...well I guess
he was hit by a methamphetamine pharmaceutical truck.
I guess Carmen Electra must be as crazy as this monstrosity.

Train Wreck

2006-10-20T17:30:00.000-04:00

Yep, that's right, I'm the Train Wreck for the weekend.

Me. Co-Worker Dan.

Co-Worker Lioux is the AWESOMEST.

What's this box here?

And why I am I thinking inside of it?

AHHHHHHH.

Co-Worker Dan. When will you learn.

See ya later,

<3 Liouxie

Queen of Mean? How about Queen of Darkness.

2006-10-19T16:08:00.000-04:00

Wow! Even I had no idea how hideous this souless wonder
had become. Talk about karma. I think this is what Dorian
Gray's portrait looked like right before he took a knife to it.
Well, she could always double for Jack Nicholson's Joker.

Hey Lady!!!

2006-10-17T17:18:00.001-04:00

No this isn't Martin Short in a fat suit. Dean's old
sidekick has been a Train Wreck for 40 freakin' years.
Just beyond embarassing. Guy's got chutzpah.
Doesn't care what kind of attention he's getting
as long as it's attention. Going to play a homeless
guy on some show or movie coming up.
Can't wait.

AND EYE UH EYE UH EYE UH WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU

2006-10-10T17:13:00.001-04:00

I know, Bobby should be in here too, but there's
train wrecks and then there's Amtrakocide.
Holy Crapola! No, it's not Whoopi or Carmen Miranda.
I guess she still sings the Star Spangled Banner
at minor league Hockey games.

Shucks, I guess I'm just NATURALLY good lookin'

2006-10-10T16:59:00.000-04:00

Seemed like a nice, down-to-earth guy.
The Longest Yard was great and I still
rermember him fondly from Dan August.
Hell, he looked good in Boogie Nights.
What the hell possesses these guys
to perfom Hari Kari on their faces?

Maybe I need more mascara

2006-09-28T13:33:00.000-04:00

I know this might seem obvious and look like I'm piling on,
but Tammy epitomizes the whole Train Wreck raison d'etre.
What the hell is she doing these days anyway?

That smoke isn't coming from his cigarette.

2006-09-22T15:15:00.000-04:00

I think Bobby did ole Bonnie Lee a favor.

Uh Phil, I don't think that amp is grounded.

2006-09-22T14:59:00.000-04:00

I can see why the jury let him go...they were terrified he'd
come after them with a recording contract.

Oh yes, I made the right move leaving Regis.

2006-09-22T14:04:00.000-04:00

Geez, I almost feel sorry for this hosebag.
I know washed up is an overused term...
but gimme a break. Does ANYONE have
even the remotest idea what she's doing
now?

No, you look great. Really.

2006-09-14T16:54:00.000-04:00

Can't leave out the ladies. There was a time I thought
old Joanie was pretty cute. If she had left time and
tide to their natural ways she could have aged
gracefully and still been on the forefront of
Hollywood Babylon. But what is this before mine eyes?
I know there just has to be a string attached to
the back of this thing that she can just pull off.
Please.

How Ya Feelin? NOT NOT NOT

2006-09-13T23:17:00.000-04:00

Saints preserve us! What the hell happened here? Last thing
I remember he was doing a great job in "Scrooged" and
putting out an amusing Buster Poindexter album.
Someone give this poor soul a cheeseburger.

Cut Me Mick

2006-09-13T23:11:00.000-04:00

I don't care what the hell anyone says, it's over for this
mook. I never liked him and now it's official.
Start the search for survivors.

Avert Your Gaze If You Can

2006-09-13T16:48:00.000-04:00

Attempting to collect and post everything that is truly,
comedically horrendous. I'll put my two cents in and
you can put in yours. Photos of faded celebrities
are especially welcome.
Let the train wrecks commence.
Pretty obvious choice for the initial train wreck.
Man, I was such a big fan of this guy.
I guess money makes certain people insane.